Bowled over…finding love in the alley

Friday was the day that my life changed in a way that was so beautiful; I knew I would be writing a blog about it.  In fact, as I was experiencing each wondrous sensation, all I could keep thinking was how I could attempt to discover words that would be able to give this new revelation justice… 

This past Friday was Mickey and VJ’s company bowling night.  Mickey and I had previously discussed attending this event.  We agreed that bowling night would be a good time to make our first “official” appearance together, as a couple and as a family, in a sense. From the very first time that The Monkey and Mickey met, there was something exceptional and utterly natural between them.  The Monkey was beside himself with excitement, for the whole week before; he was counting down the days until, what he deemed “Friday Fun/Bowling Day.”  This might sound ridiculous, but the night before I had already chosen my outfit for the day.  Yes, I chose an outfit to go bowling.  Forget the fact that virtually every day since our first meeting he has seen me in varying states of casualness and settings, every time I see him makes me feel special.  My outfit was nothing elaborate, just your basic jeans and a green embellished Victoria’s Secret t-shirt…I just wanted to look good.  Friday morning, when I got the Monkey dressed I unconsciously made the decision to have him wear a green shirt as well.  It was not until we were walking up to his first grade classroom that I took notice of our green shirt “uniform.”  All I could think was, “I sure hope Mickey did not wear green today too.”  Sure enough, the minute I met him after seeing my son off to school for the day, he had worn a green t-shirt and jeans that day as well.  A sign how in sync we are?  Perhaps.  Having our own lane, cheering on The Monkey together, watching The Monkey cheer on Mickey, and sneaking moments to wrap each other in little bits of private reveal and hugs.  We really did look like a family at that moment.  I have never had that which was a little foreign, but so innate.   

Check out Mickey’s Form

The Monkey about to knock ‘em down

This one actually went backwards, but who’s keeping track?

Mickey being cheered on by his biggest fan

This is my dream…my reality

There is no denying it now; I am absolutely enamored with Mickey. Never in my life, even with my first love with whom I still speak on a regular basis, have I ever felt this way. For the first time, I actually have found myself thinking of a future with someone and have had the inclination to disclose my clandestine thoughts to him. There is this inexpressible sense of comfort and longing that he stirs within me. He is someone that I want to watch the stars appear each night and greet each sunrise with. He is someone who my heart can sense is in the same room long before I might actually see his face. In some peoples’ eyes, we might not have known one another long enough to give true validity to these statements, but they would be wide of the mark. The precise moment that his blue eyes met mine, I was almost convinced I was in trouble; then the minute he took me in his arms, my intuition was confirmed. There is no other way to say it…we are two halves of the same whole, he is my other half. We might not have the opulent history some have had, but we have our future. Our conversations span years in a matter of minutes and he won my heart long before I would acknowledge it. Mickey is the puzzle piece that both the Monkey and I have been searching for…which fate was so generous enough to bestow upon us. We love him. I love him.

As boundless as the sea…my soul

Yesterday was, in my opinion, the perfect time to make new memories.  The sun was shining just enough, the weather just warm enough to drive with the top down, and any time is a good time to spend with my boys.  The day before I came up with the wonderful idea of taking them tide pooling.  This was going to be their first meeting and would give them something to bond over since the water was a place where all of us feel at home.  This also gave The Monkey and I a chance to share something that was special to us with him.  I had intended to take them to Tourmaline, but we ended up somewhere new.  Yes, yesterday was the perfect time to make new memories… 

I still don’t understand why, but knowing he would be showing up at my house shortly, made my heart race and my hands shake a little as I got ready.  The Monkey kept popping his head in and out of the bathroom as I tried to get my bikini on asking when he was going to be showing up.  Then, like an answer to his prayers, the doorbell rang.  He ran as fast as his little legs could go, peered through the glass on the entry door, and struggled with the lock for a second or two.  As the door opened I saw his eyes move forever upward until his met those belonging to Mickey. 

“Hello,” he said, “I’m here to see your mother.”   

I peered quietly out from the hallway, trying not to disturb their first encounter.  The Monkey looked impossibly small next to Mickey, and my little monkey is tall for his age.  Both of them had an introverted look upon their face that quickly dissipated into something that resembled a warm knowing without really knowing someone; call it comfortable if you will. 

As I said earlier, I had intended to take them to Tourmaline since every time I had been there; I always found odd and amazing things.  The Monkey is an inquisitive little thing, always keen to learn something new.  He could easily exhaust the most intelligent of minds with his barrage of questions.  Unfortunately, it has been a year or so since I’ve been there and I couldn’t quite remember the way.  We stopped and asked several people; finally one of them gave us intelligible enough directions to different tide pools nearby.  I took this as a sign, not only were we to make new memories, but we would be making them in a place entirely new to all three of us.  We ended up south of Seal Beach near Hospital Point.  The tide wasn’t as low as I would’ve liked, but it was enough for us to find hermit crabs of all shapes and colors, several different crabs (one of which caused Mickey to find himself all the way under a rock), fish, anemones of all sizes and colors, and a sense of belonging…  

I spent most of our exploration watching the two of them interact with one another.  At one point, where I first felt the ice around my heart starting to thaw, was when The Monkey wanted to get down into this crevice where we spied several types of anemones.  Mickey, being the tallest, climbed down first so I could hand The Monkey down to him.  He was a little scared, I could feel it in the way his body tensed slightly as I lifted him down unsure, but as soon as he was in Mickey’s arms he relaxed immediately, like he was certain he was safe.  I watched them just steps away as they peered and hovered over several different pools, placing certain species that The Monkey fancied into his little red bucket.  After an hour, or so, of exploring The Monkey finally gave into the ocean’s calling…we took him down to the beach, our arms wrapped around each other’s waist as he ran a few steps ahead.  Certain passersby gave us knowing glances or little smiles.  We must have looked like any other happy family at the beach that day, which is how I felt, despite that fact that we aren’t a family.  I sat contently on the sand, watching the boys climb the rocks, bury each other in the sand, and play in the surf.  Mickey never let The Monkey be more than an arm’s reach away.  I know I felt exactly the way The Monkey did: safe.  I have not felt this content or serene in such a long time.  I know that, now, every time I think of tide pooling I will see this… 

And smile.

More than just a figure of speech…

So I was talking to Mickey earlier this evening and it went something like this…  

Mickey: Free toaster oven?!?

Mickey: Sign me up for some of that!

SheHulas: You do understand all the technicalities involved now that you’ve agreed to marry me, don’t you?

Mickey: After reading over your responses to the other comments…There my be more technicalities than I expected

SheHulas: I understand if you’d like the marriage annulled…damn it…we already slept together…we need a divorce.

Mickey: At least we waited until we were married

SheHulas: Yes, I announced our marriage last night/early this morning and we consummated it this afternoon.  Does that mean we’re on our honeymoon?

Mickey: I was about to ask the same thing

SheHulas: You have to read Amber’s latest blog…it is so pretty.  It makes me want to get married.

 

Mickey: Going to read it now…that is really nice

SheHulas: It’s beautiful.  It actually made me cry.  I just left her a comment.  She makes me want what she has.

Mickey: just read your comment also

SheHulas: It’s so weird, you know, it surprises me really…just last week we were talking about how empty it feels to be alone and now I’ve got someone who fills that void more entirely than I thought possible.  It’s like one minute I had virtually nothing and now I’ve got virtually everything.  The transition in my brain and heart are still happening.

Mickey: Mine too…I can feeling it happening, going from being alone for as long as I was, to only wanting to be with you every chance I get.

SheHulas: Like that empty space in your heart gets filled each time you think of the other

Mickey: And I haven’t stopped thinking of you since we started  

We met at our usual spot and without a word he knew what I needed…to be wrapped in his arms.  Our actions are no longer deliberate, just second nature. I don’t have to tell him what I’m thinking or how I feel, he already knows.  Like I said before…did he have a premonition that we would end up together?  That same knowing look makes me think so. 

I hopped into his car and he whisked me off to our little hideaway.  In actuality, it isn’t much of a hideaway…just this perfect little shaded parking space right underneath a weeping tree…hidden from half of the parking lot of…a biotech company I believe…never mind that his car is red.  That tree is our shade, locking the outside world out and making a world of our own within the confines of that Mazda3. When he looks at me through those hooded lids and fringe of blonde lashes, my words always seem to fail me.  My mouth goes dry and my heart races.  I let my eyes do my talking for me and, luckily,he speaks their language.

When we’re in that car, it takes us back to high school.  Neglect the fact that we didn’t do this sort of thing back then…it starts with talking about the happenings of our day and the next thing you know…clothes are coming off, in an effort to stave off this unnatural San Diego heat.  There’s something biological you can’t deny when you are thisclose to a handsome guy with well-defined muscles and no shirt.  So we gave into nature’s call. 

Unfortunately, or fortunately….it’s all relative…our weeping tree might protect the side windows of our love mobile, it didn’t cover the back window and the fact that our throws of passion were blatantly on display for those who were curious.  I was beginning to take comfort in the fact that none of the workers belonging to that building were taking notice and was about to make a verbal observation when I saw him…a white haired man walking to a black four-runner parked right along the back of our car.  Maybe he didn’t see us, I told myself, but his eyes locked with mine and I saw the smile spread across his face.  He looked over once more at me, smiled again, got into his car, and drove away.  Caught with our pants down!  Well…actually his were down and mine were just…off.

And they say that opportunity doesn’t knock twice…

All of a sudden he came to me in a vision…a passing glimpse of my future, tangled in a maze.  I just didn’t know it then and, apparently, neither did he…

 I saw him in passing and we both stole a glance, but never said a word.  I wonder…did he have a premonition of our getting to know one another from the moment we locked eyes?  It was long before I heard his voice or knew him that I wanted to.   

Then one day, he found his way through the maze, through the technicalities and ridiculousness of it all…he made contact.  He fed me the most cliché line, “This might sound strange, but…you look familiar…” And I fell for it. To give him some credit, which I plan to steal back in coming entries, it turned out that the reason I looked so familiar was because we had been working under the same roof.  The minuteness of this world knows no bounds. 

From the first time we spoke, I was hooked.  I’m still not sure if it was his soothing voice or the fact that he always agrees with me…I don’t question what the powers that be do when they send me a boy.  I’m just grateful.  Then I go to my alter and pray. Mickey is truly amazing and makes me feel safe when I’m with him.  He has these pretty clear blue eyes, that communicate his emotions and has a body with edges carved like stone.  The first time we kissed was in a fish tank and I felt his lips tremble.  In the passing days, the kisses have become more urgent, the space between us less present, and his lips no longer tremble.  Though I’ve now been known to make other things tremble. Our little appearances lately have  suddenly made us water cooler talk around the office.  Unexpectedly people seem interested in us, trying to see what we are and hoping to figure out why is it that they didn’t detect us sooner…  Quite a few people want to know if we’re boyfriend/girlfriend.  What’s with titles?  Can’t a girl and guy spend time together, hold hands, and kiss without ever being an item?  If they all must know, we are secretly married , with four children (1 biological, 3 adopted), and planning to sail off into the sunset towards our happy ending on a fishing boat any day now… 

 I mean…with a view like this…try and tell me you wouldn’t do the same thing…

Simple math

hot weather + free snowcones on campus = a very happy me

A little change will do ya…

Who knew that a few well-placed highlights, a few chops to the mane, and a flat iron could make me look the same but different.  I look like me, but I feel more bold…I even pinched a random guy’s bum.

 Well…not really, but this is the first time I actually considered doing it…

Forget being like Mike…I want to be Masuimi Max

By far…one of the hottest Asian girls I’ve ever seen…I’m proud to be of the same Nationality…hahaha…I soooo want to look like Masuimi.  What’s not to like? I mean…look at her…she’s my new fashion icon…

My life so needs a soundtrack…any suggestions?

Who hasn’t felt like this about someone? Or, like me, is feeling this way for someone now?  Love is so grand…this song makes me want to dance in the rain with a lover while we’re both wearing white…very Calvin Klein “Obsession”…

Make Me Whole” by Amel Larrieux

Darling I want you to listen
I stayed up all night, so I could get this thing right
And I don’t think there’s anything missing
Cause a person like you, made it easy to do
I’ve waited for so long, to sing to you this song Cause your eyes are the windows to heaven
Your smile could heal a million souls
Your love completes my existence
You’re the other half that makes me whole
You’re the only other half that makes me whole

I think the angels are your brothers
They told you about me, said you’re just what she needs
And I find myself thanking your mother
For giving birth to a saint
My spirit flies when I say your name
If there’s one thing that’s true
It’s that I was born to love you

Cause your eyes are the windows to heaven
Your smile could heal a million souls
Your love completes my existence
You’re the other half that makes me whole
You’re the only other half that makes me whole

You make my dreams
Come true over and, over again
And I honestly truly believe
You and me are written in the stars
I live my whole life through
To giving thanks to you

Cause your eyes are the windows to heaven
Your smile could heal a million souls
Your love completes my existence
You’re the other half that makes me whole
You’re the only other half that makes me whole
——————————————————————————–

There is no possible way I could deny that ”Love” and I have something so special that will always defy distance and time.  Our relationship is a chameleon, taking on whatever form it has needed to survive.  I revere him and his accomplishments.  I hope that daily I am making him proud.  Life has not always been kind to us in every sense, but it was kind enough to have lead us to one another and has given us ample opportunities to persevere.  There are times I should say things to him and do not, other times the opposite.  There are times I should be there to hold him, other times I need to let go.  I trust ”Love” with my everything, he has never steered me wrong, I know we do things in both of our best interest.  My heart is his…till the end….and then some.

Whew…when they said it was a marathon, they were right!

So…my business is really starting to take shape.  It has been a lot of work, constant phone calls to/from Mexico, continual research, but I know it will all be worth it in the end.  I’ve just been really frustrated at all the little things I’ve got to take care of before I can get to the fun stuff of designing.  While I’m extremely optimistic, I’ve realized that there are a few things this requires that my partner and I don’t have the most discipline in: patience and money…I’ve very quickly learned that you really do have to spend money to make money.  Luckily we both are fortunate to have access to some…though I wouldn’t mind going back to “dancing” if needs be.

A very positive thing that has happened is that our relationship is even more grounded, finally moving beyond our high school romance fog.  For one of the first times in forever, I can actually see “Love” focusing and working hard.  In a few short weeks we should have some of our first products out and business cards.  That makes anything official, right?  Business cards?

I went down to Mexico, he asked…and I said YES!

Last Thursday I went down to Mexico to spend a glorious four days together with “LOVE.”  He and I have known one another for a decade plus a year, going on two…we have had this love affair of ours since my high school days.  Four and a half years is long for anyone to date; it’s an eternity for high schoolers.  We’ve kept in very close touch since our parting and no matter what has happened in our lives…we always come back to one another, always.

His Rosarito beach home has always been my sanctuary and this time was no exception, despite it having been four years since I last went.  To spend our days talking about the past and letting the sunsets work their magic.  Nothing can compare to waking up tangled in your love’s arms and the roar of the ocean.  We also spoke of the future and….he asked and I just said yes.  I am proud to announce that Love and I are going to be…business partners! 

Website is in process…I’ll put up the address once I’m finished…life couldn’t be any better!

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