Out of the frying pan into the fire
A coming of age tale…won’t you come along with me?


Shehulas: I absolutely must have thisbollywood1


Shehulas: It’s only $19 USD. We should get some just to wear around

Valancy Jane: Wow. Totally.

Shehulas: Look at this onebollywood23
only $16…let’s buy some!!!

Valancy Jane: Wow. “What are you washing dishes in?”  “Shut up, I’m pretty.” Ok, are those dangly bits earrings or ……… boobie rings>?bollywood41

Either way, AWESOME.

Shehulas: I will wear these at school…on both arms so I’ll jingle when I take notes
Let’s blow our cash on Indian costume jewelry!!!

Valancy Jane: I’m overwhelmed by all the shiny ….

Shehulas: I am blind and in love with it

“Health food may be good for the conscience, but Oreos taste a hell of a lot better.”

-Robert Redford

Though I did not partake of any Oreos tonight, I did eat this…

"I am not a glutton - I am an explorer of food." --Erma Bombeck

"I am not a glutton - I am an explorer of food." --Erma Bombeck

I had my solid meal for this week: a little sashimi, a little ahi poke, and a serving of greens with vinigarette. I must say, it was absolutely sumptuous, though none of it tasted like I remember. I ate it all slowly, a smile on my face the entire time. Every time I begin to feel like I am losing my will, I plan on looking back on those heavenly minutes and how much I enjoyed them. I definitely have a new appreciation and respect for food.

I am revived and ready to continue on…


Did you ever notice how many food commercials are on TV? There were precisely 35 of them during an episode of C.S.I:NY. I counted.

And then I had chocolate protein shake number 3 of the day…delicious!

Just say NO!

My current mantra : Just say NO!


Just wanted to show you my dinner…01280919031

…an appetizing concoction of all natural crunchy peanut butter with a little cold milled ground flax seed for added crunch, a chocolate protein shake made with water, ice, and just a hint of cinnamon, topped off with a handful of Omega-3 fish oils and multi-vitamins…delicious!

In comparison, here’s Mickey’s dinner…01280919041

…a nice bowl of beef chili and a tall glass of iced water.

I asked him to sit next to me so I could smell his dinner as I noshed on my delectable spread. He was the slightest bit apprehensive of doing so, not for fear I would rob him of his food, but as a concerned boyfriend afraid of being a saboteur to my diet. I did not crave the smallest taste,  just having him and that bowl of chili next to me was more than enough.

After dinner he told me that, in all honesty, the chili was not as good as it had smelled. I am sure he is lying…and I love him for it.


….last night I had a dream that I was having a milk shake…chocolate with loads of whipped cream…

Chocolate...the ultimate cure-all

and a grilled cheese sandwich. It was heavenly!

Everything is better with cheese on it...seriously

Everything is better with cheese on it...seriously

And when I woke up this morning I sware I could taste it and I felt full. It is amazing how the mind can play tricks on you.

Today is day 3 and I actually feel really good. Have not had a single craving or temptation. Perhaps I just felt that desperate panic of withdrawl a day earlier than most people who have followed this diet. My parents always said I was an overachiever.


And so it begins…yesterday I began the most grueling 28 day diet ever created by man…The Velocity Diet.

The results are already starting to be seen and felt, but damn…I could really go for some solid food. Did I mention that I only get to eat one solid meal a week? That my whole subsistence will be based on protein shakes mixed with water? And some yummy fish oil pills…and a couple multi-vitamins…ohhhh…. and let’s not forget my once a day serving of all natural peanut butter and milled flax seed….yum!

If I close my eyes and try really hard my chocolate protein/water/ice/natural peanut butter/flax seed shake tastes just like it…..ahhhh…mmmmm…who knew healthy could be so fun?

All kidding aside, I have been working really hard to try to be more fit and not focus on just being skinny.  Which is very hard to do in this society. I have already been going to the gym as consistently as possible given Mickey and my schedules, on top of the Monkey’s school activities, which is usually 4 days a week for at least an hour each day. This is merely an experiment and a journey…that you’re more than welcome to follow me on…

A burger still sounds so good though…a thick patty grilled on an outdoor bbq…with a toasted sesame bun….ahhhh….

Eat up my friend...eat up...

Eat up my friend...do it for the two of us...


I have been away from here so long that everything seems so new, but nostalgic at the same time.  Everything is as I left it and everything has changed so much upon my return.  I am glad to be back to a place where nothing has to make sense, but it does. Mickey and I are still raising the Monkey.  He is growing bigger and smarter everyday. Those two boys test my courage, my strength and cooking skills daily.  I have had several obstacles in my life since last I wrote that have caused me to feel lost and second guess myself continuously,  but they have also helped me find a new directive.  I cannot say quite yet if this new directive and resurgence in some faith of the human spirit is working out, but I will let you know in time.  I have come to see that my tenacity and perfectionism are both my strengths and weaknesses.  I am only one person trying to achieve that of an entire army.  I have let myself down in quite a few ways, but excelled in places I never thought success was achievable. There are certain dreams I had set out to make realities and I am starting to come with terms that some might just remain dreams. Life is funny like that…slams doors in your face, but leaves a spare key under the doormat.


So I entered through the door to our place, stealthy like a Ninja, he never knew I was coming…

Scratch that, when I said that he never knew I was coming, I really meant to say that he didn’t know what time I was showing up.  And when I said our place, what I really meant was his place that I occasionally occupy space in and have sugar-free Red Bulls.

Our place truly is wonderful.  Our own little hideaway. 
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The front of our little hideaway

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Our pool…the Monkey had all of us swim in there as a family a couple weeks ago, despite being in SoCal, it was freezing!

Fridays have almost become synonamous with being naked.  With someone like me, who has had an almost life-long struggle with body image insecurities and eating disorders, I still marvel at the fact that I’m willing to be so exposed.  Probably because, with him, I always feel somewhat naked…I feel comfortable….I feel loved. Just look at the guy, with a stare like this, how can you not feel him undressing you with his eyes?
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I think the blue of his underwear perfectly compliments the blue of his eyes, agree?

Today was purely indulgence…can anyone say doughnuts, energy drinks, Starbucks, cartoons and nakedness?  Just enjoying being in one’s company, familiarizing ourselves with the Monkey’s favorite toons, occasionally picking the remnants of doughnut glaze out each other’s hair…don’t ask me how it got there…or on my back. In fact, I think I might still have some in my ear….Mickey is the only guy I could ever imagine finding more joy in the little things with than anything extravagant. With someone like him, is there a need for anything else?
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*Negating the acknowledgement of a certain higher power*

“Grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change; courage to change the things I can; and wisdom to know the difference. “  –Reinhold Niebuhr

Today I finally asked for help.  He let me do it without ever really breaking down and asking.  He knew how hard it was for me to do so, as independent as I am.

He said wouldn’t have taken no for an answer anyways….


…him stocking his fridge with my favorite energy drink…just in the off chance I ever stop by.

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I think he loves me.